


The One Where Q Kills James Bond

by LivetoDream333 (orphan_account)



Series: Double-O Drabbles [6]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: And Bond, Bond tries to kill Q, M/M, Q is a theif, Q kills double-os, Q shot first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 07:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1501712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LivetoDream333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, a decision has to be made soon, or your time will run out,” James nodded to Q’s injured leg. “I’d hate for my Quartermaster to bleed out.”</p>
<p>“Would you let me live if I gave this to you?”</p>
<p>“I’d let you run…give you a head-start as it were. But with that injury…I can promise you you’ll probably die anyways, so my shooting you will be a mercy killing. Besides, some people will be mighty angry with you if you live. Think of death as a gift, really.” James smirked.</p>
<p>“You drive a hard bargain.” Q said, looking down at the bag against his chest and moving one arm to take the strap off of his shoulder, but he kept it against his chest. “I don’t want to be tortured…so, I’ll give it to you.”</p>
<p>“See? Not so hard.”</p>
<p>“But you have to let me go.”</p>
<p>“Of course. I’ll give you a full minute to run before I track you down and kill you like the traitor you are.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The One Where Q Kills James Bond

**Author's Note:**

> I loved writing this. It's awesome! :)

The One Where Q Kills James Bond

 

Q cursed and glanced down at the wound on his inner thigh. Walking was going to be very hard, very quickly. He left the MI6 agent who had shot him behind and snuck out of the building, running for the surrounding trees. The only agent left alive was 007: James Fucking Bond. Q knew he wouldn’t make it far with him on his tail.

Q had to get away.

Q knew from his work with the double-o that he was faster and smarter, by a long shot. But the agent was experienced and a hunter. Q was dead if he couldn’t get away from him fast enough. Q had to factor in that he had no idea where James was and that he had a bum leg. The only up-side was that Q managed to scramble all of the electronics.

No one could trace Q electronically, not when he didn’t want to be found. Q grabbed the strap of the bag on his shoulder with one hand, surprised he’d been able to steal it from the MI6 agents. Of course, he had been noticed, but he’d still managed to steal it and get mostly away.

Unless 007 caught up.

Q knew James would never stop hunting him, not until he got what he wanted and killed Q or he died himself. Q looked at the gun in his right hand as he ran. Could he kill James Bond? Would he even be fast enough to get a shot off, let alone a kill shot? James was damn near impossible to kill by far more skill assassins then Q.

Q was afraid he wouldn’t stand a chance.

He slowed to a stop and hid behind the large trunk of a tree, waiting, listening, taking a few slow, silent breaths, his gun ready in his hand.

“Q!” A voice called out and Q froze. “I know you’re out there…and I know you have it… So why don’t you spare me the trouble of tracking you down and give yourself up?”

_Have trouble chasing me, old man. Wish you were younger like me, don’t you?_ Q wanted to snap back, but he didn’t. He knew James was trying to draw him out. Q started to head away from James, running into a river, he ran up the stream for nearly two hundred meters before getting out on the other side on rocks before climbing up a craggy ledge.

“You know I can follow footprints, Q! We don’t all rely on computers like you do. How could you ever think you’d escape a double-o, honestly, Q?! You’re more of an idiot than I thought you were! Stealing information from us!” The voice was the same distance away, which meant James was following him. He shifted the bag on his shoulder so the pouch covered his chest, only a shot to the face would kill him. Even James wouldn’t risk ruining information. Q stayed where he was, gun drawn, waiting, knelt by the waterfall, the wound in his leg aching.

He hated that dead agent who’d managed to shoot him. Q froze when he heard a brush move. James was at the top of the cliff on the other side of the river. The man was damn fast.

“Hello, Q.” James smiled, they both had their guns on one another in an instant. Q was still half-protected by the information pressed against his chest.

“Hello, 007.”

“So formal?” James asked, his eyes cold. “I was hoping for some foreplay. You’re wounded, who got you?”

“009. Then I killed him, it was quick if that makes you feel any better.”

“How long do you have though? It mustn’t be long.” James smiled. Q glanced at his watch.

“I’ve got enough time.” Q stated truthfully.

“Why don’t you hand that over…and this can all go away. This can end.”

“Yeah, hand it to you so you can kill me, sounds like a plan.” Q said sarcastically.

“We both know I can kill you right now.”

“I can too. What’s stopping you?” Q demanded.

“What’s stopping you?” James wondered, his eyes narrowing.

“Where were you? I was trying to isolate you, lock you away, but I couldn’t. Where did you go?”

“You’ve known me long enough. You know I don’t remain trapped for long.” James smirked. “Did you really kill 009?”

“I killed a few, I had to, I need to get out of here and you know it.”

“I’m not letting you leave.”

“Yes you are.”

“Well, a decision has to be made soon, or your time will run out,” James nodded to Q’s injured leg. “I’d hate for my Quartermaster to bleed out.”

“Would you let me live if I gave this to you?”

“I’d let you run…give you a head-start as it were. But with that injury…I can promise you you’ll probably die anyways, so my shooting you will be a mercy killing. Besides, some people will be mighty angry with you if you live. Think of death as a gift, really.” James smirked.

“You drive a hard bargain.” Q said, looking down at the bag against his chest and moving one arm to take the strap off of his shoulder, but he kept it against his chest. “I don’t want to be tortured…so, I’ll give it to you.”

“See? Not so hard.”

“But you have to let me go.”

“Of course. I’ll give you a full minute to run before I track you down and kill you like the traitor you are.”

“Yes…well, I guess I deserve that bit.” Q nodded. “You’re a faster shooter…so, I’m dead if I don’t make this deal, at least I have a fighting chance the other way.” Q sighed. “Promise me you’ll give me time.”

“You’re minute starts the second you put down that bag. Hunting down traitors is more fun than just killing them, more fear involved.”

“Alright.” Q slowly put down the bag and took a step back. James took a step forward for every step back Q took.

_Sixty, fifty-nine, fifty-eight, fifty-seven…_

Q took five steps back. James was half-way across the stream.

_Fifty-one, fifty, forty-nine, forty-eight…_

Q smiled when James’ foot slipped off a rock. It was just enough distraction. Q pulled the trigger twice and James fell back, clutching his stomach. Q walked forward and grabbed the back before looking down over James. “Sorry, knew you’d slip up.”

“Bastard.”

“I know.” Q nodded before aiming for James’ heart and firing. “I win.”

“You bastard that hurt!” James snapped, sitting up and rubbing his chest.

“Sorry, love. All’s fair and all that.” Q smiled, helping James up. “You alright?” Q wondered, gently rubbing James’ chest where he’d shot him with a simunition round. A green splotch covering the area.

“Hurts, but not as badly as being shot. Why’d you have to shoot me three times?”

“Oh, because it was fun and I was scared.” Q shrugged, leaning up to kiss James on the lips. James pulled him closer and deepened the kiss.

“You’re sexy with a gun, you know. Hottest person I’ve ever seen try to murder me.” James grinned.

“Really?” James’ answer came in the form of an erection pressed against his thigh. “How did you keep that after being shot? You masochist.”

“Who did you kill? Please tell me you were the one who killed Alec.”

“I killed Alec.” Q smiled proudly. “He was my first target. I got to the information first and waited, knowing he’d be stupid enough to come in. I shot him six times, it was lovely. Teaches him not to underestimate me.”

“You killed three double-os?” James asked with wide eyes.

“Four, but who’s counting? I got two other agents and left one wounded.”

“They’re going to give you hell for winning. I always win the Simulation battles, they’re used to that, but having you beat them…they’re going to torture you.”

“I’ll have to carry a gun with me then, won’t I? You’ll protect me, won’t you?” Q asked with an innocent smile on his face.”

“I don’t think you need protecting.” James grinned, kissing Q roughly.

“I was worried most about you, you know.” Q commented after they broke apart and started walking away through the trees.

“As you should have.” James smirked. “I noticed you locking the doors around me. Who the fuck was dumb enough to let you get access to a damn computer?”

“I did some sneaking. How did you get out?”

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” James chuckled, kissing the side of Q’s head. “How much time did you have left, anyway, before you ‘bled out’?”

“Five minutes. Enough to kill you and run.” Q shrugged as they left the forest. M, R, and all of the agents were standing there, staring at Q as if he had sprouted another head. Q walked up to M, took off the bag and handed it to him. “Here you are, sir. Mission accomplished.” Q smiled as M glanced from Q, to the green splotches on James’ chest. Q smirked at Alec. “And, by the way, 006. Just because I’m your Quartermaster doesn’t mean I’m helpless and couldn’t ever stand up to a double-o.”

“You cheated. James must have helped you.”

“Um, I watched the whole time,” R commented, “Q was pretty badass. Why don’t we send him on missions, M?”

“Because we need his brain intact, fieldwork seems to deplete people’s brain functions.”

“Hey!” Alec snapped.

“It’s true.” Q shrugged.

“Ta, dear.” James rolled his eyes.

“I love you anyway, you idiot.” Q beamed.

“Gun please…” R held out his hand.

“One last thing.” Q commented before shooting Alec one last time, right at the top of his thigh. “I had one bullet left, better to use it than to let it go to waste.” Q winked.

“You bastard.” Alec whimpered, bent over.

“Don’t talk about my boyfriend like that, Alec. Only _I_ can call him a bastard.”

“And he has.” Q shrugged. “Twice.”

“What do I write about this Simulation, M?” Tanner asked.

“The one where Q kills Bond… I think that’s memorable enough, don’t you agree?”

“Yes, and here I thought our most dangerous man was a double-o.”

“Every now and then a trigger has to be pulled… I may not like to do it, but I’m good at it.” Q shrugged.

800Q8

James smiled as Q sagged against him, their bodies pressed against each other’s. “God you’re beautiful.” James sighed, running his hands down Q’s back.

“You’re more beautiful.” Q commented, pressing a loving kiss against James’ lips. “Especially when I make you fall apart like that, old man.”

“Shut up, pup.” James teased.

“Mm…shower?”

“As long as we get to share.” James grinned.

“Definitely.” Q smiled before getting out of bed, grabbing James’ hands and pulling him up with him. “Out of curiosity… Could you have pulled the trigger?”

“I could have.” James nodded.

“Would you?” Q wondered.

“No… I don’t think I would have. Why, plotting for next year?”

“I’m not in next year…but I did convince M to go in next year.”

“That means you’re running the Simulation then.” James smiled.

“Yes… I get to choose the place and the time and the weapons…and the mission. It will be lovely.”

“Any hints?”

“You’ll win.”

“You can’t stack it in my favor.” James commented. “That wouldn’t be fair. I like a challenge.”

“It will be fair. I just know you’ll win, you always do. But all the while you’ll be remembering how I’m the only one who’s ever beaten you.”

“The man who killed James Bond. Be proud, many have tried.”

“James, they fail because they know I’ll kill them if they touch you.” Q promised, kissing James lovingly, deeply.

“God, you’re sexy when you’re protective. Promise me I get to keep you.”

“Always,” Q promised, pulling James towards the shower.


	2. The One Where Q Throws Everyone Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M and Tanner get James as their target and play dirty.

The One Where Q Throws Everyone Off

 

“Alright everyone.” Q smiled, looking at all of the agents, double-os, and others who had gathered around. “This is going to be a bit separated… Everyone is going to have their own assignment. Good and bad. Some will be grouped together on teams, some will be alone. Some will have to do retrieval, some will have to steal, some will have to assassinate. You’re real goal is to live and get out. If you meet anyone else along the way who isn’t working with you, kill them. If you are originally on a bad side and you kill the person after you, you will be informed of your true mission. I’ve given you all watches to tell you your assignments once you get to your starting positions. There will be eyes everywhere and you won’t be able to find the cameras, so don’t try it.”

“You put them up then?” 005 asked.

“Yes, I did. You won’t find them. However, there are some cameras you will be able to hack, if you have that ability and if you’re smart enough you can hack each other’s watches, but be warned, that’s going to be a bit difficult, I programmed them, so someone skilled will have to sort through them. There are thirty buildings within the parameters of the Simulation. You are to report to this spot once you are killed or you complete your assignment. If you receive a potentially lethal wound, a medical specialist will give me the amount of time you have before you’d bleed out and I will program a count-down into your watch.” Q tapped something out on his computer and M and Tanner looked down at their watches before looking up at Q with a small smile. There watches simply said: Trap and kill Bond.

“Anything else?”

“Oh, yes, torture is permitted if you need answers, but nothing too bad, double-o’s that means no maiming or broken bones or blood or more psychological torture than someone can withstand. That means they should be able to bounce back in a day, Alec.” Q glared at him. “I remember what happened three years ago. I am watching and you will be disqualified for too much. Understood?”

“Basically, lie, cheat, steal, hurt, kill…no fucking though, that sort of is a let-down.” Alec commented.

“For that Alec I’m purposefully going to fuck with your mission.” Q stated. “To your starting places.” Q announced. Everyone dispersed except for James, M, and Tanner. James walked forward and pulled Q into a filthy kiss. Q grinned and slipped his hands around James, his hands gripping the double-os arse. “Make me proud?”

“Always.” James winked before he left the area, following the GPS on his watch to his starting place. Tanner and M looked at him.

“You realize we’re fucked, don’t you?” Tanner asked.

“Yup.” Q smiled. “I think it’ll be fun. You’ll come up with something.”

“It will be fun to mess with him.” M commented looking at Tanner. Tanner smiled back.

“He’s going to be getting a lot of assassination assignments, so good luck with that.”

“Lie, cheat, steal, kill… And I like what you said about torture… I think I have an idea. Tanner?”

“Yes, well, it has to be interesting to get his attention.” Tanner smiled.

“We all know it’s either going to be you, Tanner, or James who wins.” Q shrugged. “I figured I would give you time to plan whatever you needed to to get rid of him. He loves a challenge so I’m giving it to him.

“Yes… I think I know what to do.” M nodded.

“Agreed, sir. Brilliant idea.”

“What’s brilliant?” R wondered.

“Oh… Didn’t see that coming.” Q said, taking a few steps back.

“What coming?” R wondered.

“I’m getting kidnapped.” Q stated before M and Tanner grabbed his arms roughly, dragging him off.

800Q8

“James has killed five people already. Fifteen left on the board overall.” Tanner told M, looking up at him from his laptop. Q was tied down to a chair, relaxed. M and Tanner had roughed him up, which basically meant no glasses, messy hair, dirt on his cloths and face, and a dark berry had been rubbed against his cheek. The juice made it look extremely convincing that he had a bruise.

“Who is he going after next?” M asked.

“His order is to go after 002.” Tanner commented.

“How far is she?” M wondered.

“Four kilometers northwest, sir.”

“Warn me when he’s about to kill her.” M said before he walked in front of Q.

“You’re evil. You realize he’ll be even more dangerous now, don’t you?”

“Yes, but it is fun.” M grinned. “And it makes him emotional. He makes bad decisions when he’s emotional.”

“Kill time estimated at about five minutes.” Tanner commented.

“Good. As he’s killing her send her a message. Tell her that we’d like her help kidnapping the Quartermaster.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, he’ll go running for you and just when he’s about to pass by you’ll scream bloody murder.” M shrugged.

“I won’t scream.”

“Oh, come on, it will be fun.” M smiled. “Tanner will be on the roof and kill him.”

“And you’ll kill Tanner, then?”

“Not if I can help it, bad to kill your chief of staff. Now if he and I are the only ones left, all’s fair.”

“True. Said that about James last year. I won.” Q’s eyes twinkled with mirth. “I can wait to see both of you go down. You’re idiots for enticing him.”

“Sure, sure.”

“You should never underestimate him, trust me.” Q sighed heavily.

“Message has been sent and opened, sir.” Tanner commented.

“Good.”

“You know, Tanner, you could always come and work in Q-branch for me. I’d love to have you around. You’re better than most of the minions.”

“Thank you, sir.” Tanner smiled at him before returning to the computer. “James has taken the bait, he’s heading for the starting point. He’ll be within hearing distance in about ten minutes.”

“How many left on the field?” M asked.

“Five, sir. You, me, Bond, Trevelyan, and…never mind. 006 has just killed her.”

“How close is 006?”

“Two minutes if he runs quickly.”

“Send him an assignment to kill me. I trust you’ll take care of him?”

“Of course, sir.” Tanner nodded, grabbing his gun and heading to the roof.

“Bad form to leave a prisoner all by himself!”

“Shut up, Q.” M chuckled. Q sighed heavily and relaxed again, waiting. Two minutes later he heard a gunshot and a moment later both of his captives came back.

“Lovely, don’t happen to have any Earl Grey do you?” Q wondered.

“You are the worst prisoner I’ve ever held.”

“You’re the best kidnappers I’ve ever had. Most of them try to cause me pain for some odd reason.”

“Yes, well, we will too if you don’t shut up.” Tanner sighed.

“Sure…”

“We need you to yell, you know.” M commented.

“Not going to happen.”

“Why, do you think James will die?”

“No, I don’t, but I’m not going to do that.”

“Just one good shout for me, Q, I am your boss, don’t make me order you.”

“Nope.” Q stated simply.

“That settles it.” M sighed. “Tanner, you’re not going to that conference in America, Q is. Could you put him on the flight for next Tuesday?”

“No, fuck no. I am not fucking flying.”

“I’ll put it in, sir.”

“This is blackmail!”

“Yes, it is and I’m very serious about it, one shout and it’s all over. Best make it good and convincing for me.”

“But—”

“First class or—?”

“I’ll do it! Okay! I’ll do it, you backstabbing bastards. You’re officially my least favorite captors and I’ve been tortured by people.”

“I know.” M nodded.

“He’s within range if you’re nice and loud about it.” Tanner commented.

“Just one scream, Q, just one.”

“You’re really putting me on the spot here.”

“I’ve got a ticket to America that says you can manage it.” Q closed his eyes and thought of one of the only things that had ever pulled a scream out of him. He felt his heart rate pick up just thinking about it, his breathing turned labored sweat dewed his forehead. He’d once watched James get shot in the chest, for real…and it had nearly killed him. M looked at Q worriedly, seeing the sudden loss of color in Q’s cheeks.

“ _No! NO! **JAMES! JAAAMES!”**_ Q screamed. The scream was heartbreaking and real, M had heard it before. M gently touched Q’s face.

“Sh, sh it’s alright. You’re never going to have to fly so long as I’m here. I’m sorry, Q.” M said gently, knowing he’d hurt Q.

“Yeah, fuck you, don’t ever blackmail me again.” Q said, straightening up. His breath even, his heart steady, his eyes no longer watering.

“Damn…you’re a good actor.” Tanner commented.

“Have to be… I have a lot of memories to draw from too…so, it works.” Q shrugged. “That one hurts though, so don’t make me do that again.”

“Sorry.” Tanner nodded before he took his place back on the roof.

800Q8

“ _No! No! James! **JAMES!** ”_ James whirled around and froze. Q was screaming for him. James took off for him, gun ready. If he’d been touched someone would die, the gun may be fake, but he could still snap someone’s neck. “ _James! No, James, no! No, Jaaames! Help, James—James help!”_ James paused at the way the words were said, replaying them in his head. The length of each word, the pattern.

\- .-. .- .--.

Morse Code for trap. “Clever, love.” James smiled before he looked at the building, hidden in the brush.

“ _Help! James help me! No—Please James—no!”_ Anyone would think Q was pleading for James and trying to stop his torturers, but James heard the way Q used his words.

\- --- .--.

Top. James looked up and saw Tanner, almost completely camouflaged on the top of the roof. Tanner was always a good sniper when he was in on the game. James circled around silently and climbed the side of the building, barely peeking over the top before putting two bullets in Tanner’s back.

“Fuck!” Tanner called out. James knew it was only to warn M. James dropped down and walked cautiously around the building, looking through a small hole in the boarded up windows. M had positioned himself in a corner, his arm on Q’s throat, his gun to Q’s head. That was playing dirty. James found the closest door and kicked it open, staring at M, gun raised.

“You shoot me I’ll get him and you know it will really fucking hurt him, you wouldn’t do that would you?” M asked.

“This is low, having to take prisoners to win.” James glared at the dark blotch on Q’s cheek. “Q?”

“Berry juice.” Q answered with a shrug.

“That’s all I needed to know.” James stated before he pulled the trigger, calling M’s bluff. “You wouldn’t hurt your biggest asset, idiot.” James sighed before he walked forward and untied Q. He pulled him up into his arms, cradling him in his arms.

“My hero.” Q grinned, pressing a kiss against his cheek. “I told you you would win.”

“You knew they would do this?”

“No, but you always win…except when I decide to play, of course.”

“I’d always lose to you, you’re brilliant.”

“I know.” Q grinned.

“You’re message was brilliant.”

“I’m glad you noticed.”

“I notice everything about you.” James promised, kissing Q once more before carrying him out of the building.

"Note to self, never kidnap Q." M commented.

"Agreed." Tanner nodded, shaking his head. "They're impossible."

"Best to keep them on our side."

"Definitely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want anything written, just tell me. :D  
> Much Love.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you were misled for a bit.  
> Much Love.


End file.
